What High Functioning Anxiety Is Trying To Tell You
Last week, we talked about what high-functioning anxiety looks like.
This week?
Let's talk about what's happening… and what actually helps.
Here's the part where I tell you something you might not want to hear:
That perfectionism you've been calling "high standards"? It's fear. Fear of being seen as incompetent. Fear of being exposed. Fear of not being enough.
That inability to delegate? It's not because no one else can do it as well as you. It's because letting go means losing control, and losing control feels terrifying when you're already operating from a place of "not enough."
That guilt you feel when you try to rest? It's because somewhere along the way, you learned that your worth is tied to your productivity. The feeling that you're only valuable when you're accomplishing something.
I know. Ugh. But stay with me.
The Truth You Need to Hear
Your worth has nothing to do with your output.
^^^ Read that again ^^^
Your worth is not determined by how many tasks you complete, how many people you please, or how perfect you seem. You are valuable, exactly as you are, even if you did nothing else today.
I know your brain is probably screaming, "BUT IF I STOP PUSHING, EVERYTHING WILL FALL APART!"
Will it, though?
Or will you just finally get to breathe?
Why Time Management and Productivity Hacks Aren't Working For You
Here's what no one tells you: This isn't a mindset issue. It's a nervous system issue.
All those productivity tips and time management hacks? They're not working because they're treating the symptoms, not the root cause.
They’re bandaids to a bigger wound.
You don't need better systems.
You don't need another journal.
You don't need to "optimize" anything else.
You need to simplify.
You need to feel safe enough to stop running at a breakneck pace.
Your nervous system is stuck interpreting your environment - the deadlines, the decisions, the visibility - as a constant threat. So you stay on high alert.
That's why you can't "just relax." That's why meditation f*cking sucks. That's why a spa day gives you relief for about 45 minutes before the anxiety comes rushing back (if you can even relax at the spa to begin with).
Your nervous system doesn't believe it's safe to rest. And you can't think your way out of that headspace.
You can't productivity-hack your way out of chronic stress.
You have to teach your body - not just your mind - that it's safe.
What Actually Helps (I Promise It's Not a Bubble Bath)
If you've been waiting for permission to stop running yourself into the ground, here it is:
You're allowed to be successful AND rested.
You're allowed to be ambitious AND have boundaries.
You’re allowed to be kind AND be unavailable.
You're allowed to be powerful AND calm.
These things aren't mutually exclusive. They're essential to each other.
Calm is your new superpower ;)
The most effective leaders I know aren't the ones who work 80-hour weeks and wear burnout like a badge of honor. They're the ones who've learned to regulate their nervous systems, set boundaries without guilt, and lead from a place of calm instead of anxious urgency.
Like I mentioned above, the secret no one talks about: Calm is your competitive edge.
When your nervous system feels safe:
You have clarity & make better decisions
You communicate more effectively
You're more creative, more strategic & more present
You stop reacting and start responding
But you can't think your way there. You have to regulate your way there.
The Reframe That Will Change Things For You
Your body is protecting you.
It's just a little confused about what "safe" actually looks (and feels) like.
The anxiety? It's your nervous system trying to keep you safe by staying hypervigilant.
The perfectionism? It's trying to protect you from criticism and rejection.
The people-pleasing? It's trying to ensure you're accepted and valued.
Your nervous system isn't the enemy. It's the messenger.
And the message has been clear: Something needs to change.
Not your goals. Not your to-do list.
The way you're pursuing things.
Where Do You Go From Here?
You don't have to have all the answers right now. You don't have to fix everything today.
And for the love of god, please don’t try to overhaul your life overnight. It doesn't work and you’ll just set yourself up for failure. I see it all the time!
But you do need to start listening to what your body is trying to tell you.
Maybe that looks like finally acknowledging that you're not fine, you're burnt out.
Maybe it's giving yourself permission to do less without the guilt spiral. (That’s probably something you’re going to need to spend time practicing because it’ll feel real damn foreign at first.)
Maybe it's seeking support from someone who understands that your anxiety isn't a character flaw - it's a nervous system response that needs some help in order to change.
What I Want You to Remember:
You can be ambitious without being anxious all the time.
You can be driven without being drained.
You can be powerful without feeling perpetual panic.
The way you're feeling right now - the overwhelm, the exhaustion, the chronic anxious feelings - they’re not permanent. They’re not “who you are.”
Your nervous system has been stuck in survival mode. But with the right support, the right tools, and the right understanding of what's actually happening, it can learn to feel safe again.
And when that happens? Everything changes.
You don't have to keep pushing through. You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to do this alone.
If this resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. Drop me a note if you’d like to explore leadership coaching.
Calm is waiting for you,
Lori